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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

4.7.13 Darkness, Depression and Despair


Bountiful Blessings          

April 7th, 2013

Woke up to the sound of birds singing and bees buzzing. Jumped out of bed and threw open the French doors. Stepped out onto the deck to absolutely gorgeous weather. Watched the pollen dance gracefully in the air before landing like soft powdery snow on the leaves, the deck and my car. What a beautiful time to be alive and enjoy the natural beauty that God surrounds us with!

This revelation follows my crappy week. Grumpy, ill, bad tempered, short of patience, snappy, snarky…. Pick one. I was struggling. I HATE that person. But with God’s everlasting help, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and got back up. Oh, I got lots of advice. Everything from “don’t let others control your attitude” to “there’s nothing wrong”. And you know? Everyone was right. But sometimes right, well, is still not right. Sometimes things are not as easily black and white as that. I felt like a thick cloak was thrown over me, darkening my world and weighing me down. I couldn’t seem to throw it off, to get out from underneath. I fought it. I promise. But the fighting took its toll as well. All that fighting wore me out. I wanted to crawl back into bed for a nap. Sleep was my comfort zone. But sleep was not the answer. God was, and continues to be, the answer. I had to push myself. Find a little small place in my dark world to go to him. To talk to him. To share with him. He held me and told me that he would take care of me. He reached down and lifted that cloak off of me. Oh, the weight was lifted off. My head was raised. My shoulders felt lightened. My burden was shed. He told me that he will always take care of me. Why did I lose sight of that? He has never left me alone or in the dark before.
So, my friends, I asked God to use me, no I begged and groveled. I asked him to let his love shine through me like a lighthouse for others. I 100% believe that he is the light in the darkness. He is a shining beacon that we can all look for to find our way back home. Depression, oh that sneaky little bugger. It covers you in a thick heavy cloak, hiding you from the light. Fogging up your brain and confusing you. You want to hide from yourself and the world. You cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. All you see or feel is a heaviness pressing on you. And for me, there was no rhyme or reason. There was no traumatic event. Depression found a weak spot and burrowed in. Well, I don’t think so. From my birth to my death, God has a plan for me. It is constantly in progress, changing, evolving, but a plan nonetheless. So today, and hopefully for the future, I plan on standing in the sunlight. Embracing God’s love and his light.  Enjoying the beauty that God surrounds us with! (And blocking those little weak spots where nasty little buggers cant get in!)

Bible verse for the week:

“Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.”           Psalms 42:5

Prayer for the week:

Dear Lord,

I was broken and you made me whole. I was down and you lifted me up. I was in the dark and you led me to the light. Lord, what joy you bring to my life! Let us not get bogged down by the weight of the world but always remember that you, and only you, are the center of our lives, the light from within, our Lord and Savior. I love you, Lord. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

Bible fun for the week:


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