7.8.13 God made me special...me?!...how awesome is that?

Bountiful Blessings

July 7^th, 2013

            Good morning, my friends. I hope this beautiful overcast Sunday morning finds you well. “Well”… “Fine”…. words we often use to describe how we are doing but what do they really mean? They are mmmm, just words. They have meaning and definition but not in the way that I use them. They are my “go to” words. Say everything and nothing - all at the same time, you know? Because when someone asks us how we are doing, do they really want the truth? Are we willing to give it to them?

            I am gonna go out on a limb and say no. It has been a tough week for me but ask me how I am and I will give you - fine, thanks. Yep, you heard me. Lie like a cheap rug. Why? Because I have been suffering from a taboo topic this week. One that adults do not discuss. We all suffer from it occasionally but we keep it under wraps. Sounds ominous, doesn’t it? Our personal skeleton in the closet. Now, don’t get too excited. I just want to talk about low self-esteem. You see, something snuck up on me this week and struck me up side the head with a bat - resulting in a large, tender knot of low self-esteem. I had my own little pity party. I invited Jim but he declined the invitation. Summer attended for a few minutes and then had to run. I guess it was a little much for her. Sigh. That’s ok. When you are having a pity party, it only makes sense that you have no friends to be there with you….(insert frowny face here).

            The reason for my low self-esteem? Doesn’t matter. To me, it was clear. I was the one lacking. I was the one who wasn’t good enough. Been there, have you? It is a silent monster that sneaks up on you but it gets us all. I am not good enough. What is wrong with me? I am not smart enough or not pretty enough. I am too fat or too thin, too tall or too short. I don’t like my hair or my nose. I never have any money to do for my kids. I don’t have the friends to do things with anymore. I keep getting rejections after my job interviews. I can no longer remember the things that I used to. C’mon, admit it. 25 or 85, you have experienced the “I am not good enough” at some point. These are just examples; you know what doubt has crept in and caused you to question yourself and sadly, find yourself lacking. But exactly what standards are we holding ourselves to???

            These invisible standards are a little out of range and yet, I don’t think there is a way to avoid it. So you need to focus on overcoming it. For me, I am able to turn my attention to God. By questioning my worth, by questioning that I am any good, I am doubting God. For he made me special. He chose every thing about me. I am not pretty enough? God thinks so. He makes us all beautiful in our own way. My family and a few select friends think I am beautiful. The world does not have to. Would be a little unrealistic, don’t you think? Every year, People magazine lists the sexiest man of the year . Well, most of the time, I am going to disagree with their choice. Should he have low self-esteem because I disagree? Yea right. I am not smart enough? For what? I can function in society. I can hold a job. I can get an education. Ok, so I am not Sheldon Cooper smart. Big deal. The Bible shows that God was able to take ordinary people (like me! Yea!) to use for his purposes. No money to care for your kids? Are you kids fed? Clothed? Sheltered? Then you are doing good enough. Its your love that is important not what you give them. God wants you to raise your children in a loving home and teach them about him. That is all he is asking of you. Work got you down? God wants us to work diligently. All jobs are important. Do not be ashamed or disappointed about what you do. If you are giving it your best, that is all God expects of you so why do you hold yourself to such higher standards? Scrambled memory? It is tough when you cannot remember something, not going to sugarcoat this. But it is one of the many changes we go through in life. God is easing us slowly into a different life, a heavenly life. And what memories would you rather hold on to? The memory of your childs first day at school, running through the fields with your siblings catching lightning bugs, your wedding day… or what you had for dinner last night, what item you were supposed to pick up from the store, what time were you supposed to be there? Frustrating? Oh absolutely. But God is letting us keep what is most important and filtering out the rest.

            So, the end to all of this is to say… God made each of us special. No two people are just alike. We have unique traits and personalities that make us who we are. We should be proud of that. My weaknesses? My flaws? Those are simply words - for I have no true flaws. God made me perfect, well, wrong word, he made me just who he wanted me to be. I am exactly as I am supposed to be. I question my self worth. I let others make me feel bad. I let others make me feel less, not good enough. Well, phooey. Believe in yourself and in God.

            (On a side note here: I didn’t send out a Bountiful Blessing last week. My self doubt didn’t creep in this time. It rolled over me like a bulldozer. Something got me down, really down. I questioned everything about myself and didn’t like what I saw. Shoot, I was not good enough for much of anything. But God comforted me and told me that I am good enough. Maybe not on my own but with his help. I may not ever win a beauty contest, become a CEO or cure cancer. Haha. Like how I said “may not”? But that’s ok. God has his own plan for me and I am just perfect for the position. J)

 

Bible verse for the week:

“God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again.”                                    Philippians 1:6

 

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I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of very kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.  Genesis 9:13-15